dies lunæ dēmentia

Some sketchy-ass pile of shit just came into my work ranting and raving about how the bank wouldn't cash her check. She had no intentions of buying anything from me, the only reason I was getting the brunt of her tirade is because she clearly, on hands and knees, came to the realization the sidewalk wasn't listening.

As this stereotypical (fried) hippie went on about the injustice, discrimination and conspiracies of banking, I sat silently, calculating just the right time to cut her off and kick her to the back alley with the other vagrants...but she interrupted herself, nearly screaming--"OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK?!?" I casually said "no, make it stop" while continuing to stare at my laptop as if she wasn't there. "No kidding, you must be in so much pain! That head bandage is covering half your head!"

That was the turning point for me, the almost seemless transition between annoying "customer" and humorous encounter with a nonsensical lunatic. My personal favorite.

Unfortunately though, before I got the chance to play along, she discovered her mistake: "I admire your courage...to sustain a head injury like that and still come to work, that's so...oh, wait, take off your hat. Is that just your hair? Oh."

It wasn't long before she was labias-deep in her diatribe against the bank again, mainly rehashing everything she'd previously said--this time, however, working herself into even more of a psychotic frenzy, pounding her fist on the counter and leaving me with this gem of a parting statement as she exited the building:

"...and earlier today I saw the same teller giving her kid a SODA! Can you fucking believe that?? While his teeth are ROTTING from his skull, she actually gave him a soda!! THAT IS ENDANGERING THE WELFARE OF A CHILD!! You know what? THAT DOES IT!! I am calling the POLICE!!!"