ranch dressing

If you mix it thoroughly with diarrhea, it turns a brownish color.

Toilet paper is played out.

I'm replacing my t.p. dispenser with a bowl of wet tongues. Who's with me!!

vaginal boogers

My health teacher taught us that smoking cigarettes not only dries up mucus membranes in the throat and nasal regions, but also in your sick vadge. A result of this: cute l'il boogies up the lady hole! So, femmes de nicotine, dig around a little and let me know what you find...

THIS JUST IN: it's now ok to like the band Mest!

I saw Mest at the 2000 Edgefest and thought they put on a really good show. A few weeks later I bought their CD and only listened to it once on account of it being music for highshcool chicks.

Today, however, they've earned a spot in my iTunes library because their frontman, Tony Lovato, has been arrested on charges of MURDER!

punknews.org:

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Tony Lovato, the frontman for defunct mainstream pop-punk act Mest, was jailed on suspicion of murder in Los Angeles on Sunday. Reuters is reporting that the 26 year old confessed to police that he stabbed his ex-girlfriend's new lover. He is now being held on $1 million dollar bail.

The preliminary news reports claim that Lovato was assaulted earlier in the day by 25 year old Wayne Hughes in the underground parking lot of an apartment building the Studio City suburb. Lt. Andrew Neiman of the Los Angeles Police Dept commented "At some point, Mr. Lovato produced a knife and the victim was stabbed... He has been booked for criminal homicide." Police had visited the complex the night before due to an altercation between the two men but no arrests were made at that time.

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MEST FUCKING RULES.

Fanmail

So today I got a note from a 13 year old girl claiming to be my cousin. This is news to me. It's like Shady says: "Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper / All the sudden, I got 90 some cousins / A half-brother and sister who never seen me / or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV" Comes with the fame I guess.